Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The Great Indian Movie Script II

By: Subhadeep Bhattacharjee

After Ram Gopal Varma's Mumbai Par Atank Raj failed to impress the audience and bombed at the box office Ramu does an overhaul of his entire cast and crew and this time involves even friends from across the border in Pakistan.

Movie – Atank Ka Khatma

(This time the focus shifts to end terrorism. RGV wants to tell some tricks of curbing terrorism. Its a trade secret he won't reveal anything till his movie is released )

Director – Ram Gopal Varma

(Holds onto the top job this time too as there is no replacement for him in the industry)

Producer – Asif Ali Zardari replaces Vilas Rao Deshmukh

(Deshmukh lost money in the previous movie and Zardari is happy to be the producer of a Bollywood flick. After all he wants everything to be done jointly by India and Pakistan except for terror strikes)

Film Financier – Yousaf Raza Gillani replaces R R Patil

(RR Patil disappears after the first movie and there are rumours that he gone to Antarctica. Yousaf Raza Gillani follows his President to Mumbai. Atleast his car won't be shot at in the Indian financial capital)

Executive Producer – Manmohan Singh and LK Advani

(The leaders are finally showing some signs of unity when it comes to national issue)

Banner – Sonia Productions

(There can be no debate on the banner in India. After all its the Gandhi bahu and leader of the ruling coalition)

Script – A R Antulay replaces ISI

(There was nothing wrong with ISI's script in the last movie but Antulay seems to have better script that them. Also his imagination extends beyond our universe and that's an inherent quality required for scripting)

Male Lead – Ritesh Deshmukh dropped VS Achuthanandan and Mukhtar Bbbas Naqvi in

(Ritesh did not fit as a male lead and was dropped. Achuthanandan and Naqvi are the most respected leaders in the nation right now and thus are apt for the role)

Terrorists – Bureaucrats replace MNS Workers

(MNS workers had done a good job in the previous movie but the 'failed bureaucracy' of our country will suit better in such roles. After all they are well fed!!)

Lyricist – Pakistani singers replace Madhukar Gupta

(They have faced protest all over so they pen the lyrics this time. Madhukar Gupta was below average in the first flick)

Playback Singer – Shivraj Patil replaced by Abdullah Hussain Haroon

(Patil's song like his ministerial tenure failed to impress the audience. Abdullah Hussain Haroon the Pak envoy sings different tunes at different times and thus he is the best man for the job)

Film Critic – United States of America replaces LK Advani

(Advani is replaced as he is executive producer. When Pakistan and India are involved US has to be the judge)

Audience – For the first time an RGV movie goes global


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