Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Barack Obama's Bengal adventure

Barack Obama's mission to reach the world and his 'Yes We Can' slogan brings him to Calcutta. He comes with the CEO of Public Motors to set up a automobile plant in the Communist heartland of India. He decides to take a walk around the streets of Calcutta with Moti Basu and opposition leader Janata Banerjee.


Obama – Mr Basu its a pleasure to take a walk with you early morning. I have always heard about you since my childhood.

Moti Basu – What...You knew about me. I never thought I was so popular in America

Obama – Well you are Mr Basu. Americans always keep an eye on extreme development or extreme deterioration. You and your party have overhauled the 'City of Joy' into something the old time Britishers and Bengali intellectuals will cry if they see.

Moti Basu – No Mr Obama. We have just made sure that wealth is distributed equally across all sections of people. Its impossible to make everyone rich, so we closed down the industries and made sure everyone is poor and there is equality in the society.


Opposition leader Janata Banerjee walks in and greets Obama but ignores the presence of Moti Basu. In her trademark agitated tone she says.


Janata Banerjee – No he and his party have turned Kolkata into City of Khoy (Loss) and the City of Bhoy (Fear)

Obama – Well I can see that Calcutta opps Kolkata has lost some of its beauty.

Moti Basu- You can't say that we have graffiti all over the place to beautify our beloved city. The Britishers just left us plain white buildings we have added colour to them.

Janata Banerjee – I strongly object to that, these people paint all the walls and the bus stops with 'red' a sign of danger. We are left with walls and railway stations in the outskirts of the city. DO YOU GET THAT BARACK DA?

Obama – Well Ms Banerjee my ears are hurting. Why do you always scream at the top of your voice. Why can't you talk softly?

Janata Banerjee – That's a trade secret. When you have to make pointless arguments its better to scream to ensure that others are forced to listen. People are emotionally attached to people who scream rather than act intellects.


Just then a group protesters are passing shouting slogans against the government and the police. One of them turns towards Janata and says


Protector – Didi, by what time will you join us? We have already jammed the main road and set three state government buses on fire.

Janata Banerjee – Let me finish my appointment with Barack da, I will meet you in the grounds of the high school till then keep screaming. In the mean time make arrangements to burn tyres on the road.


The protester along with others leaves the place


Obama – What is this protest for Ms Banerjee?

Janata Banerjee – Nothing serious, its a daily ritual here in Bengal. A shopkeeper was selling a packet of cigarette to an under age boy when some intellects protested, The police rounded the shopkeeper and beat him up. We are protesting against that.

Obama – But that's a crime right? Selling cigarettes to under age people.

Janata Banerjee – I don't care about that. The shopkeeper is a person who votes for me and nobody can touch him whatever the reason may be. I am like his mother and have to safeguard his business.

Obama – By even going against the law?

Janata Banerjee – See that's the only source for income for the shopkeeper so he also has the right tor earn a living. The boy who was buying the cigarettes was from a affluent family so his parents can take care of him.

Obama – Ms Banerjee its easy to understand Mr Basu's party but not yours. They believe in one thing to oppose America and people like me and they do it pretty well. You seem to have no ideologies or logic behind most of your action. I failed to understand why you chased out the auto giant from Bandur.

Janata Banerjee – Well you are not a smart enough politician and not eligible for politics here in India. You missed my achievement in the entire issue.

Obama- What achievement? People seem to be disappointed with you

Janata BanerjeeThe auto giant going away was a loss for the educated youth who any ways don't vote for me. Secondly I have 10% seats in the assembly so we can't match up with the decibel level of Mr Basu's party in the assembly and this was a perfect platform for me to show my strength in the state politics.

Obama – Let me get it straight I have come here with a business plan to set up a automobile plant. We have seen some signs of development in the last five years under the leadership of Shuddhodeb and we consider this very encouraging.

Moti Basu Shuddho is like my son and that is why I vacated the seat of Chief Minister for him. But to tell you the truth many party colleagues don't like him. He is turning into a capitalist comrade now.


Janata can't take this and returns to her trademark screaming again.


Janata Banerjee – No there has been absolutely no development. Barack da where do you see the signs of development?

Obama – An American President leading a team of business leaders looking for investment in communist West Bengal is development I guess.

Moti Basu – But we can't allow you to set up any industry here.

Obama – But Mr Basu why?

Moti Basu – You are Americans and that's reason enough. We have always protested anything American from your industries to your joint military exercise with our forces.

Obama - But see times have changed I am the first 'black man' in White House. Moreover we now talk about some bit of regulations and restrictions in our economy after the financial turmoil So you can also change your stand against the Americans.

Moti Basu – No we can't, we won't and we ill not let anybody else do it. Do not ask me for a reason I don't have one.


Obama turns towards Janata Banerjee with some hope in his eyes


Obama – And you Ms Banerjee?

Janata Banerjee – Barack da we can't give you any land unless you pay the price similar to that of Manhattan. And all my party workers given the contracts to supply goods to your industries and paid leaves when I sit for protest against your automobile plant.

Obama - Anything else Ms Banerjee

Janata Banerjee – Yes you will get the land 200 kms south of Kolkata

Obama finally says to himself 'No We Can't' and decides to return home. Suddenly his cell phone rings and he gets a call from Gujarat CM Virendra Body who promises him a huge plot of land and other freebies. He says goodbye to West Bengal and files off for Ahmedabad.



3 comments:

Subharaj Saha February 3, 2009 at 2:34 PM  

Good one Deepda :) Very sad state of affairs indeed..we can actually make a play out of it!! Keep up the good work

moffyTOTS February 4, 2009 at 9:35 PM  

Roflmao....

Even India Today's discontinued its bengali edition.Discernibly coz da state's obsessed with India Yesterday.

bikramjit April 13, 2009 at 5:14 PM  

long live greatbong......but was this the thoughts of a really demented mind??

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