Friday, January 30, 2009

Obama's call to Manmohan

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh is recovering after his bypass surgery in AIIMS, New Delhi. US President Barack Obama who considers India as a friend decides to call Mr Singh to wish him a speedy recovery. The PM's secretary hands over the cell phone to our Prime Minister.

Manmohan - Hello.....

Obama -- Good morning Mr Singh. I hope you are doing fine with your health?

Manmohan – Hello...kuch sunai nehi de raha hai.....Ye humare desh he mobile network...There is not much difference between them and Praksah Karat...can't trust any of them.

Obama – Mr Singh can you hear me....?

Manmohan – Yes Mr Obama. Congratulations on your taking over as President. See my condition before the hangover of your inauguration was over I landed up in the hospital.

Obama – Get well soon Mr Singh. I called you up to discuss some urgent matters concerning both our nations.

Manmohan – Now what concerns me is my health. But any ways continue...

Obama- Mr Singh I have made sure that my country tightens screws on Pakistan.

Manmohan – At this moment they are tightening the screws around my bed so that I don't fall off.

Obama – Forget about Pakistan, you are aware our economy is bleeding right now Mr Singh.

Mahmohan – Well I have just had a second bypass surgery right after taking over the Finance Ministry. Please do not push me into a third by talking about the economy.

Obama – No its just a help I want from India. You and your countrymen can help us by increasing consumerism so that production comes back to life in our industries.

Mahmohan – I don't know about others in my country but I use everything American. To give you an example my countrymen have patronised Nokia handsets but the one I am using right now is Motorola from your country.

Obama. - Thanks for that Mr Singh. I have a great deal for every $500 million worth of import we give you an advanced radar. For $1 billion you get one F-18 jet to bomb Pakistan. If you import goods worth $10 dollars we give you a nuclear powered Aircraft Carrier so you can dump that Russian Admiral Gorshkov whenever you get into the Indian ocean.

Manmohan - But we can't dump the Russians they have been our ally even when you country used to threaten us. Moreover you will supply arms to Pakistan as well.

Obama – I agree but times have changed and you are our biggest market ....oops biggest ally and we will supply Pakistan with all outdated equipment and trust me their planes will fall from the sky.

Manmohan - (to himself) Nobody can match our MiGs in this regard.

Obama – Did you say something Mr Singh.

Manmohan – Oh No. Mr Obama these are important issues concerning the country I cannot decide them on my own.

Obama – Well I understand that in democracy like ours we are answerable to the house.

Mammohan - I hope it was that way here too. In the last five years I have only been answerable to Madam. Moreover I don't take any decisions these days.

Obama – But you are the elected Prime Minister of the largest democracy in the world.

Manmohan – To tell you the truth I am proxy PM till Rahul baba is ready to take charge of the nation. Moreover as far as elected Prime Minister is concerned I have never managed to win a single election all my life. I am a nominated member to the Rajya Sabha.

Obama – So should I be instead talking to Madam?

Manmohan – No she will be terribly upset and moreover the opposition will get another chance to brand me as a rubber stamp Prime Minister which unfortunately I am.

Obama – Should I talk to Rahul Gandhi then?

Manmohan – No no he is too young for all these. He will take over once he is wise. Moreover you can't reach him on his cell he is on an image building exercise and visiting tribal areas where unfortunately our BSNL network hasn't reached.

Obama (looses patience) – Shall I then talk to the communists for help to bail my country's economy out of hell.

Mammohan – Calm down Mr Obama I can't take screaming, my condition is still very critical. I now have a good deal for you. Take P Chidambaram to your country to bail you out or else....

Obama - Chidambaram, no way I will rather call some Left leaders from your country or else have recession all my life but no Chidambaram. But wait you said else.

Mahmohan – Make the same call to my best friend L K Advani, he might be able to help you. At least he controls what he speaks and has no madam sitting over him......I think I am low on battery and need to cut the call.

Manmohan cuts the call switches off his cell phone and breathes a sigh of relief. As for Obama's he dails L K Advani


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