Shiv Sena doesn't believe in democracy

By: Subhadeep Bhattacharjee

If you think under world is powerful in Mumbai read this “This is not Shahrukh, but the Khan in him that's saying all this. Let Shahrukh go and stay in Lahore, Karachi or Islamabad. He is not needed in Mumbai. Balasaheb has made it clear that Pakistani players wouldn't be allowed to play in the IPL or set foot in Maharashtra" Wonder what this is well this is nothing but Shiv Sena's reacting to Shahrukh's support for the Pakistani players in the IPL.

The Shiv Sena spokesman doesn't stop with that he also adds ““There will be dire consequences if Shahrukh defies the orders of the Sena chief. Shahrukh must think twice before speaking. This is Maharashtra and the Shiv Sena chief's writ runs here." Well it is for everyone to judge weather this is the language a political party is expected to speak in a democracy? Or the larger question that looms is weather Shiv Sena and its by-product the Maharashtra Navnirman Sena even believe in Democracy?

None of us unaware of the fact that Pakistan had a role to play in the 26/11 attacks in Mumbai and we should refrain from washing our hands from it. But is this the kind of language a person should expect in our democracy where the Constitution ensures us 'freedom of speech.' Over the last few years there has been a tussle between the Shiv Sena and Maharashtra Navnirman Sena to be a saviour of the Marathi cause. Now when it comes to Pakistan and racial attacks in Australia, Shiv Sena wants to represent the Indian cause.

When Mukesh Ambani one of India's leading industrialists said Mumbai belonged to all Indians the Sena slammed him. They had earlier done the same to one of the greatest Marathi icons Sachin Tendulkar as he faulted saying he was an Indian first. Mukesh Ambani creates jobs and thus has the right to speak on it, MNS and Sena are just the hungry consumers of it. Sachin makes India smile and unlike the Thackreys can walk into any Indian home and would get the treatment of a king.

Do the Thackreys believe they run a dictatorial rule over entire Maharashtra and Mumbai? The drubbing they got in the elections should have been an eye opener for them but that seems far from true. The question is not just about Pakistani players being allowed to play in the IPL but of a political forces which seems to consider itself above the law? It is high time the centre and the state machinery take some strong measures against such militant political parties.

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North East snubbed at in Phir Mile Sur

By: Subhadeep Bhattacharjee

It has been more than two decades that Indians first heard a song 'Mile Sur Mera Tumhara.' Few would have realised that this song would be something next just to the National Anthem. In the single channel Doordarshan era it was one of the most sought after programmes. The song which represented India and had Bollywood stars, musicians, cultural icons, sportsman and ordinary people. Cut to 26th January 2010 and we get a remixed version of the original song which mesmerised us for more than two decades.

To spread the message of 'unity and diversity' once again in a rising and fast globalising India 'Phir Mile Sur' was conceived. But the question is where was North-East in the entire video? The original one at least featured a dance sequence which had all the major tribes from North East. The only representation of the entire region was through an immobile Bhupen Hazarika and Mary Kom packing a few punches.

Was that all about North-East? Although it is easy to blame the mentality of the people in the mainland behidn this, but the truth lies elsewhere. The entire 16 minutes video seemed to be a representation of Bollywood stars more than anything else. Where were our cricketers? Doesn't Sachin Tendulkar stand a place among Abhinav Bindra and Vijender Singh? Cricket has always been blamed for our failure in other sports but the fact remains it is the most popular sport in India.

Coming to the issue of North East, the region not missed out on the video but has surely lost percentage in the footage compared to the original song. The reason for this is very simple, the region doesn't have any major stars in Bollywood and it slipped out of the mind of video director whose only claim to fame has been directing Kailash Surendranath a Bollywood pot-boiler Love You Humesha. If lack of awareness and creativity needs any example Phir Mile Sur would be in the lead.

What was the director's though process behind the entire video? NE wasn't represented not because the director had some bias but because he wasn't even aware enough have a bias in his mind. Why on earth did the make the video in the first place? If it was to represent unity in diversity why is the end product to poor? The makers of the video should think back and reflect upon their idea, it this what they feel will unite India?

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Phir Mile 'Bollywood' Ke Sur

By: Subhadeep Bhattacharjee

15th August 1988 Indians heard a song 'Mile Sur Mera Tumhara.' Few would have realised that this song would be something they would hum for rest of their lives. In the single channel Doordarshan era it was one of the most sought after programmes. The song which had Bollywood stars, musicians, cultural icons, sportsman and ordinary has its appeal even in the new millennium India. The song's popularity can be judged from the fact that it is one of the highest searched videos in YouTube.

Cut to 26th January 2010 and we get a remixed version of the original song which mesmerised us for more than two decades. To cash on this popularity of 'Mile Sur Mera Tumhara' and to spread the message of 'unity and diversity' once again in a rising and fast globalising India 'Phir Mile Sur' was conceived. But did it do justice to the original song? Is it better than the original which still sounds catchy after so many years?

First and foremost it seems more like a Bollywood ke sur thing than the unity in diversity thing which it intends to be. At 16 minutes it seems never ending montage of musical beats. What was the entire idea behind the entire song. Wasn't it to show 'unity in diversity'? But the beats of the song which never matched from one transition to another and it showed more of diversity and no unity at all. Salman Khan, Shahrukh Khan, Aamir Khan, Abhishek Bachchan his wife Aishwarya, Amitabh Bachchan seem to be representing India to it's producers.

Cricketers have been snubbed. Can the producers explain why someone called Sachin Tendulkar doesn't find a space in the never ending video? Is there a bigger Marathi icon than Sachin? Or for that matter why leave out Sourav Ganguly, Anil Kumble or Rahul Dravid? Well bashing cricket seems to be the only justification of our poor performance in all other sports. When Abhinav Bindra and Vijender Kumar who feature in the video were buying peanuts outside their school Sachin was scoring runs for India!

And the never ending bias towards North East. In 2010 you would expect people to be a little more sensitive about such issues. But no NE is represented by a Manipuri boxer and Assam's Bhupen Hazarika. What about the six other states of the region? NE has lost not just in time but in terms of percentage from the original video. When a region feels alienated from the rest the people who conceived this video should shown some more sensitivity and intellect.

For all the hype it created, 'Phir Mile Sur' turns out to be a complete dud. It was more like an advertisement for Bollywood at international film festivals rather than a video which will unite India. The old Mile Sur still seems to be rocking.

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Should we take the Shahrukh incident lying down?

By: Subhadeep Bhattacharjee

First it was former President APJ Abdul Kalam begin asked to remove his shoes at the IGI Airport by Continental Airlines and now it is Shahrukh Khan being detained at the Newark International Airport. A lot seems to be happening is United States in the name of security. The question is not concerning a Shahrukh or a Kalam but housands of Indians who fly to US everyday. We only hear about such ordeals when a SRK or a Kalam is involved.

American fans sitting in India will drub this incident as a mere security procedure of the US government but the fact remains there is difference between security and harassment. The Government has said that it will take up the issue with the US Authorities. But didn't it do that same after the Kalam incident had come to light just about three weeks back. What was the result of the Indian government's so called 'taking up the issue'? Had we not brushed that incident under the carpet the Shahrukh incident might not have happened.

All of us are aware of the pseudo threat scenario that S has created around itself to wage wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. We surely do not have any reasons to be bothered about its internal security but we should deny being victims of it. The argument is not to call for a boycott America or take up any unrealistic measure. What the Indian government should do is communicate that we would not tolerate such incidents any longer.

The problem with the American psychology is they have always unofficially respected powers who have threatened them. Be it the erstwhile USSR or China, they have always had a milder tone while dealing with such countries and its citizens. US only noticed us after we went about with our Nuclear Tests and when India emerged as a huge market and world's back office. There is a saying 'Power respects power' and when it comes to countries like US they never hear pleas.

The Indian government should not just raise the issue with the US but take a firm stand no the matter. The Brazilians follow a tit-for-tat policy whereby all the international travellers are meted out the same treatment as Brazilian gets in their respective countries. When was the last time a former US President asked to remove is shoes by Air India staff in New York or a Hollywood actress was detained and questioned in New Delhi because her name sounded similar to that of a terrorists.

The West has tagged us as a Third World Nation because we are a would-be-superpower which doesn't stand us for its citizens. The English team doesn't feel safe to play in India but our teams played during the worst of IRA bombings in England. We cannot detain US citizens even though we face a bigger threat from terrorism. Well its now up to us if we want to take this issue seriously or brush it under the carpet and wait for another celebrity to face this. Any ways who cares for the thousands of people who are harassed in between.

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Do we need a broadcast code?

By: Subhadeep Bhattacharjee

Information & Broadcasting Ministry recently issued a show-cause notice to Star Plus for its latest reality show Sach ka Saamna. This after there was an uproar in the Parliament over the obscene content being aired on the channel. This is just another episode of many where broadcasters are airing indecent content on the small screen to gain high TRP raitings.

In the name of Reality Shows the broadcasters are airing content which is definitely not suitable for unrestricted public exhibition. From the MTV Roadies to the Splitsville and now Sach Ka Saamna obscenity (which many will read as boldness) has reached new heights. Back bitching, use of foul languages form the core of such Reality Shows. The question which arises is do we need a broadcast code?

I&B Minister Ambika Soni had do far favoured self-regulation by the broadcasters but the ministry has time and again seen this leniency is being misused. There are suggestions that the government could set up a a task force and create a National Broadcast Code (NBC). The task force will comprise of News Broadcasters' Association (NBA) and Indian Broadcasting Federation (IBF) to monitor television content.

Interestingly movies have to pass through the eyes of the Central Board of Film Certification (CBFC) but the television content doesn't have any level of scrutiny. Many broadcasters take advantage of this fact and air obscene content on General Entertainment Channels (GEC) during Prime Time. The content it at times so raunchy that it causes major embarrassment if two different generations of people watch it together.

Another thing that needs to be kept in mind is India still has a one home one television concept. Thus television serves as a living room media and the content needs to be unrestricted public exhibition. The argument is definitely not to ban adult content on television. They can definitely be aired at what is known as the 'Late Fringe' is US or after 11 PM. But these sort of content definitely shouldn't find their way into 'Prime Time' television.

Now many would say this as an interference in the day to day functioning of a media house and some would even term this law as a tool to protect our cultural hypocrisy. But again with so many violations happening time and again the government has been left with no choice but to take such harsh steps. It's a fact that the concept behind many of the reality shows do not fall in place with the common culture in the country. At the end of the day we cannot deny being Indians can we?

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Does this have any end?

By: Reetasri Bhattacharjee

Reality programmes have become a part and parcel of television today. From the days of [V] Popstars which some claim to be the first “real” Reality programme, to today’s overtly real shows, this genre has made everyone sit up and take notice. There was a time when the long running series of Sa Re Ga Ma and Antakshari, were the predecessors of this genre of programming. Today reality television has totally taken over other genres on television. Channels like Colors, Real came into existence because of reality shows. Today these programmes are becoming more voyeuristic than ever.

If there were programmes like Kaun Banega some 7-8 years Crorepati (that in todays’ context will be an innocent programme) today it’s about someone getting married on television (read Rakhi Ka Swayamvar) or someone telling the truth on television (Sach Ka Saamna). And for the past few years’ programmes like Roadies have been the best show for youth. MTV, which produces programmes like Roadies, is the youth television of India with reality shows like Splitsville (a very pathetic programmes if I may add) which always manages to get top TRP’s and the recent started Stunt Mania.

With this seasons reality shows up on the block, our MP’s in Rajya Sabha have taken a stand and voiced how shows like “Sach Ka Samna” are against our culture and denies all tastes of decency and goodness that as Indians we are quite proud off. This has sparked a new controversy and the concerned channel has been sent a notice asking for a justification for doing such a show. It is high time that voice should be raised against these pathetic programmes. On the name of reality they portray anything. Bitching, backbiting, use of foul language have been made a part of our society now. Otherwise why would a show like “Splitsvilla” survive which makes a complete mockery of the concept of love or even why would everyone glue to their television sets to know who Rakhi Sawant is getting married to? Saying anything about “Sach Ka Samna” will require the use of words that would not be acceptable in a platform like this.

Interestingly, all these programmes are adaptations of concepts from other countries. This just goes to show that such concepts have universal appeal and can work anywhere. They also work because as social animals we like to know what is happening to others and get immense pleasure in their discomfort and sometimes also in their happiness. But it is the time to draw a line between what is pleasurable and what becomes obscene. It is time that the MP’s and even the common man speaks up and says that these things cannot be accepted anymore. The producers cannot bring out anything on the name of entertainment. This needs to be stopped somewhere and surely the time has come.

This blog has been contributed by Reetasri Bhattacharjee a dear friend of mine. She is a regular blogger on blogspot and maintains the blog My Passing Moments

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Whom will Rakhi marry next season?

By: Subhadeep Bhattacharjee

If you ask any toddler what is the television program he likes watching on Television don't be surprised if he answers Reality Shows instead of the good old Cartoon. Such has been the intrusion of reality shows in our lives via the 'Idiot Box' that we don't want to watch scripted serials and sitcoms any more. These shows keep us busy with voting for the contestants and checking with the regular updates on who is eliminated next.

From simple song and dance based competitive shows, reality television has taken giant leaps in the last few years in India. We have had a political reality show Lead India to choose our leader and than the Bigg Boss where celebrities with all their individual egos were made to stay in a house together. But the mother of all reality shows Rakhi Ka Swayamvar is currently on air. Hats off to the creative head behind the show, it couldn't have been any bigger than this.

Television's drama queen Rakhi Sawant will select her prospective husband from 16 contestants who are giving their agni pariksha in each episodes. Somebody once said “marriages are made in heaven”, he surely wasn't a part of the reality television world or else would have added the term 'television studios' to his famous phrase. After all the self-created controversies in her life Rakhi had kept the best for her marriage and the product is Rakhi Ka Swayamvar.

But wait whom will Rakhi marry next season? Well like all reality shows creative bosses behind Rakhi Ka Swayamvar must have conceptualised a season two for the show. Rakhi Ka Swayamvar cannot be done without Rakhi on the show and one thing the audience will swear by is there is no replacement for Rakhi Sawant on the small screen. No Sambhavna Seths or Payal Rohatgis can replace Rakhi on such a platform. So what do the channel bosses do?

Well the solution is to start another follow up reality show like Rakhi Ka Talak or The Great Indian Divorce Show after six months of the completion of Rakhi Ka Swayamvar. One more gem that can be added to the show is Abhishek Awasthi as the host in Rakhi Ka Talak with Ram already doing the honours in Rakhi Ka Swayamvar. This will ensure that there is smooth transition period between the two interlinked reality shows. As for the audience the channel bosses need not worry we all love reality shows don't we?

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A tribute to the King of Pop

By: Subhadeep Bhattacharjee

Heal the world, make it a better place”, these were the words of one of his most famous song. Michael Joseph Jackson better known as the 'King of Pop' was not just a singer he was a culture in himself. The biggest icon of music since the days of Beatles and Elvis Presley in a career spanning four decades Michael achieved what no musician had before him. He was the face of western music in the 80s and 90s becoming a hit machine.

Michael Jackson began his professional career barely at the age of 11 as a member of The Jackson 5 and started his solo in career in 1971 while he was still a member group. In the subsequent years, five of his solo studio albums Off the Wall (1979), Thriller (1982), Bad (1987), Dangerous (1991) and HIStory (1995) became world's best-selling records. He was a dominant figure at the start of the MTV culture and became the first African-American entertainer to amass a strong crossover following.

If his music pleased the soul his dancing techniques were breathtaking. No artist before or after him has looked so great in stage or in music videos. He popularized a number of physically complicated dance techniques, such as the 'robot' and the 'moonwalk'. A famous publication had once described him as “A dancer with the fanciest feet on the street. A singer who cuts across all boundaries of taste and style and colour too.”

Controversies had always been a part and parcel of Michael's life. Starting with the changing colour of his skin to his controversial marriage with Lisa Marie Presley, the daughter of Elvis Presley Jacko had been a favourite for the paparazzi. The biggest of all perhaps was when he was accused of sexually molesting children at his Neverland den. He also had his share of problems with drugs when became dependent on morphine and demerol.

In his glittering career spread over four decades Jacko became one of the few artists to have been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame twice. His illustrations career also bagged him 13 Grammy Awards, 13 number one singles in his solo career and saw him sell over 750 million albums worldwide. In 1984 his name was inducted into the Hollywood Walk of Fame for his influence in music the world over.....Read More

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SRK is a brand treating KKR as its subsidiary

Kolkata Knight Riders being at the bottom of the table in the ongoing Indian Premier League may hurt the KKR fans but to a cricket enthusiast it is not surprising. The on field performance of the team has truly been disappointing but Knight Riders seems to have lost the plot with the team selection. They are left with limited resources in their present squad and are not expected to go too far ahead in the tournament.

John Buchanan and his team of experts messed up with the selection of players right in the first season. They got overboard with getting big international names such as Ricky Ponting, Shoaib Akhtar, Brendon McCullum and Chris Gayle overlooking the fact that only four international players can be accommodated in the playing eleven. This made sure that although squad looked formidable on paper the playing eleven was a vulnerable one.

Surprisingly IPL must have sounded like International Premier League to the KKR. Otherwise what logic can go behind having only one Indian star Ishant Sharma with all the other Indian players not even having a place in the Indian squad. Why could not manage to get any other players from among the 20-22 India regulars? They even lost Bengal's most promising batsman Manoj Tiwari to the Delhi Daredevils.

Another mess up that the Kolkata Knight Riders did was select a top heavy squad. The batting stars that the Knight Riders have in their squad (Brendon McCullum, Sourav Ganguly, Ricky Ponting and Chris Gayle) bat at 1,2 and 3 conventionally. This leaves the middle order and the lower middle order in the hands of players like Aksah Chopra, Sanjay Bangar where as other teams had the likes of Yusuf Pathan, MS Dhoni and Abhishek Nayar.

One foolishness could be termed as mistake but twice it becomes stupidity. What made them buy Bangladeshi pacer Moshrafe Mortaza for a whopping Rs 3 Crores when he chilling in the dug out. Couldn't they have got some better player from the India U-19 squad for may be one-tenth the price. Of course Shahrukh had more of Bollywood and Television interest in Bangladesh behind grabbing Mortaza. SRK is himself a brand and treating KKR as its subsidiary.

If all this was not enough the John Buchanan came with the four captain theory and sowed the last seeds of defeat. Brendon McCullum who has turned out to be a one innings wonder as far as IPL is concerned was given the captaincy ahead of Ganguly and Gayle both of whom have experience. The inexperience has showed in his decisions in the two close encounters the team had. The results are here for all to see.

IPL Season 2 is most likely over for the Kolkata Knight Riders unless a miracle happens which is least expected with the present team combination. Hopefully cricketing logic will drive the team in the next season and not just marketing and brand building exercise. 'Go Desi' and grab some good Indian talent that's the logic behind doing well in the IPL. More importantly Shahrukh should not treat this team as a brand extension of his own name.

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My first experience of a Tamil movie

It has been almost a year and a half that I have been in Bangalore and shared a room with two guys from Tamil Nadu. It has has been a very enriching experience in my life with the two techies. One of my room mates always insisted on me watching a Tamil movie for long since I was a student of media. Sometime back he told me he will take me for a movie not because it has Rajinikanth or Kamal Haasan in its cast but because it is by a critically acclaimed director Bala.

Now working in the entertainment section of a news portal I had got quite an insight into the Tamil film industry. There two things people down south are very good at. Firstly science and engineering and secondly they are all great movie buffs. Movie is a part of culture down south especially in Tamil Nadu. To cite an example Tamil industry has made two movies exceeding 100 Crore budget where as Bollywood is yet to clock that figure. Here Aishwarya gets paid Rs 6 crores for a movie and Katrina can charge Rs 2 crores for an item number.

So finally I was on my way to INOX to watch my first Tamil movie Naan Kadavul with my room mates. I had struck a deal with them that they will translate the movie to me although I knew it will be very difficult to do so. When the intro title started rolling in Tamil I was feeling quite out of place. I asked myself what am I doing here? But the opening shot of Kashi with a Hindi song in its background made me feel comfortable.

To my utter surprise about 40% of the dialogues were in Hindi as the movie was set initially out of Kashi where the protagonist was speaking most of his dialogues in our national language. What was funny was that many people sitting in the theatre were finding it hard to understand the dialogues in Hindi. I felt I was not the only one in the theatre who was having an issue with the language!

The movie had a superb screenplay and the story was unfolding at a good pace. The cinematography was just awesome especially some of the shots which were taken in the banks of Ganges in Kashi. In true cinematic sense the script was telling the story more with shots than with dialogue Isn't that what good cinema is all about? The movie ended with quite an unexpected and realistic manner unlike most of the Indian movies.

Overall it was great personal experience for me not because I watched a Tamil movie but because I tried my level best to understand the movie just through its visuals.

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Slumdog Millionaire - A must watch

By: Subhadeep Bhattacharjee

Yesterday I caught up with one of my close friends. He took me to his house and insisted that I watch the movie Slumdog Millionaire on his laptop. I had heard lots of good reviews about the movie and it was a good alternative that hanging out in a shopping mall. Thanks to the n number of movie download sites and the unlimited broadband connections any movie in the world is just some megabytes of download away.

What sky-rocketed my interest was the enthusiasm in my friend's face. A choosy movie watcher he would not watch just every other movie in the world. The fact that he had watched the movie thrice was a strong enough testimony for the movie. He said me before the start of the movie “If someone watches this movie and says this is your India you have to accept it.”

The movie began with a good hook a teenager being beaten up by a policeman. How could a young man from a slum win Rs 1 Crore? How could he have all the answers which the so called intellect in the society did not have? What was the secret behind his confidence and where on earth did he learn all the answers without any formal education?

Danny Boyle in some way showed certain hard but true facts about India which no other director before him had done whatever may be the reasons. The story centered around Dharavi one of the largest slums in the world. It is highly surprising that hundreds of Bollywood directors who would have passed it thousands of times in their lives never got an idea to make a movie on Dharavi

The movie had every element that form the bulk of the news items we read everyday. From the dream to escape poverty to the fight in the name of religion. Girls being forced to prostitution to children being blinded to to beg on the streets. An over expressive media to a disillusioned bunch of call centre executives, Slumdog Millionaire portrayed the dark side of India in a very convincing manner.

On the technical aspect of the movie, one word can describe it 'brilliant'. The cinematography was excellent showing the slums like no other Bollywood movie had done before. The real game was however played at the editing table with the juxtapositioning of the shots. It was a movie edited with a documentary's precision, The editor Chris Dickens might have done the editing of his life.

In the end my friend just asked “If this is not a movie what is?” Being argumentative in nature I don't nod my head very often but this time I did it not reluctantly but as a gesture of agreement. Secondly I agreed to the statement he had made before the start of the movie. The only thing I can say to the director Danny Boyle is 'thanks a lot' for your masterpiece.

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The Great Indian Movie Script II

By: Subhadeep Bhattacharjee

After Ram Gopal Varma's Mumbai Par Atank Raj failed to impress the audience and bombed at the box office Ramu does an overhaul of his entire cast and crew and this time involves even friends from across the border in Pakistan.

Movie – Atank Ka Khatma

(This time the focus shifts to end terrorism. RGV wants to tell some tricks of curbing terrorism. Its a trade secret he won't reveal anything till his movie is released )

Director – Ram Gopal Varma

(Holds onto the top job this time too as there is no replacement for him in the industry)

Producer – Asif Ali Zardari replaces Vilas Rao Deshmukh

(Deshmukh lost money in the previous movie and Zardari is happy to be the producer of a Bollywood flick. After all he wants everything to be done jointly by India and Pakistan except for terror strikes)

Film Financier – Yousaf Raza Gillani replaces R R Patil

(RR Patil disappears after the first movie and there are rumours that he gone to Antarctica. Yousaf Raza Gillani follows his President to Mumbai. Atleast his car won't be shot at in the Indian financial capital)

Executive Producer – Manmohan Singh and LK Advani

(The leaders are finally showing some signs of unity when it comes to national issue)

Banner – Sonia Productions

(There can be no debate on the banner in India. After all its the Gandhi bahu and leader of the ruling coalition)

Script – A R Antulay replaces ISI

(There was nothing wrong with ISI's script in the last movie but Antulay seems to have better script that them. Also his imagination extends beyond our universe and that's an inherent quality required for scripting)

Male Lead – Ritesh Deshmukh dropped VS Achuthanandan and Mukhtar Bbbas Naqvi in

(Ritesh did not fit as a male lead and was dropped. Achuthanandan and Naqvi are the most respected leaders in the nation right now and thus are apt for the role)

Terrorists – Bureaucrats replace MNS Workers

(MNS workers had done a good job in the previous movie but the 'failed bureaucracy' of our country will suit better in such roles. After all they are well fed!!)

Lyricist – Pakistani singers replace Madhukar Gupta

(They have faced protest all over so they pen the lyrics this time. Madhukar Gupta was below average in the first flick)

Playback Singer – Shivraj Patil replaced by Abdullah Hussain Haroon

(Patil's song like his ministerial tenure failed to impress the audience. Abdullah Hussain Haroon the Pak envoy sings different tunes at different times and thus he is the best man for the job)

Film Critic – United States of America replaces LK Advani

(Advani is replaced as he is executive producer. When Pakistan and India are involved US has to be the judge)

Audience – For the first time an RGV movie goes global

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The Great Indian Movie Script

By: Subhadeep Bhattacharjee

Movie – Mumbai Par Atank Raj

(This is a typical RVG title for the movie on the Mumbai Carnage)

Director – Ram Gopal Varma

(He is the only person from Bollywood who has a first person account of what went inside the Taj)

Producer – Vilas Rao Deshmukh

(With his CM's chair gone and people having lost faith in his political abilities perhaps he should turn an eye to the silver screen)

Film Financier – R R Patil

(Well every loss seems small for him and considering it will be a RGV flick only a man with big heart like Mr Patil can finance this movie)

Executive Producer – Manmohan Singh

(Having failed to execute any anti terror laws in the interest of the nation, our PM can be the executive producer of this great movie)

Banner – Sonia Productions

(Well Sonia is the boss and she has to have her name in all the banners. After all the hand she shows is what matters to her loyalists)

Script – ISI

(They seem to be scripting all the internal security affairs of our country. Also because they had the first draft of the operation even before the terrorists landed in Mumbai)

Male Lead – Ritesh Deshmukh

(The prince of Maharashtra will definitely play an NSG commando fighting to save the Taj. Only concern is if he could keep out his filthy jokes and a never ending smile out of this thriller)

Terrorists – MNS Workers

(Although they cannot be compared to the terrorists but someone has to play those roles too so MNS workers are best suited for the job)

Lyricist - Madhukar Gupta

(Madhukar Who? Like all RGV movies the music is irrelevant so taking the Home Secretary is ok for the job)

Playback Singer – Shivraj Patil

(He knows a thing or two about voice modulation. Was screaming against POTA and now seems to be only singing slow numbers after terror attacks)

Film Critic – L K Advani

(Having started his career as a film critic he is the best man suited for the job)

Audience – From me who is penning the blog to you who is reading it.

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